The Truth About Lying

Whether you have a toddler, grade-school child or teenager, as a parent you will find that children lie for many different reasons. While catching your child in a lie may be disappointing, understanding the reasons behind the lie can help you handle the situation appropriately.

You might be surprised to learn most children lie about small things. As a parent, you should certainly explain why you are disappointed, but recognize that lying about small things is normal.

Why Kids Lie

Lying may not necessarily indicate a problem. For example, toddlers don’t understand the difference between truth and lies. In addition, those who lie at a young age often are found to have high intelligence levels and good social skills in adolescence.

Knowing why kids lie can help you determine how to guide your child toward proper behavior. Use the following breakdown to help you respond appropriately:

• Toddlers may lie for self-serving reasons, like saying their diaper isn’t dirty to avoid a diaper change while they are playing. Punishment isn’t necessary, but gently explain why lying is wrong.
• Preschoolers often tell tall tales, which generally aren’t problematic unless they cause issues in your child’s real-life relationships.
• Grade-school kids lie for various reasons, so use your discretion when addressing your child about a lie. You may find one child lying to avoid hurting someone’s feelings while another may be avoiding punishment. When talking with your child, remember to encourage habits that promote personal responsibility.
• Teens and preteens may begin to seek more personal privacy, so if a parent asks a question that a teen feels is intrusive, he or she may choose to lie, especially if the child believes the parent will disapprove of the truth. Talk with your child about inappropriate behavior and discuss the consequences for behaving inappropriately, as well as the punishment for lying about it.

If you suspect deeper issues, talk with your family doctor about a referral to a behavioral health specialist at The Children’s Hospital.

Sources: www.aap.org, www.aacap.org and www.parenting.com